Official PENNYSTOCK Martini Bar & Grill

[softballdaddy]

 Today is Cinco de Mayo...popularized as a victory by Juaristas over French Forces of Maximillian...but according to SBD

Another popular myth...on April 14-15 the RMS Titanic struck an iceberg in the North Sea...on board in the holds were 200 cases on Royal Mayonaisse to be reshipped to Vera Cruz to a colony of mayo loving Mexicanos...that transhipment was to arrive on 5 May...today it is memorialized as Sinko de Mayo

[Smitty]

Drove to the gas station to get $5.00 in gas..........
The clerk farted and handed me a receipt.

[cyburfer]

                At least it was a good weekend for brim..      Cy...
                       

[Dr PennyStock]

Wow, you are a professional

[justonian]

Was reading some greek newspapers to see how they think over there today.  Uncovered a few things, about 80% of Greeks want to stay in the euro.  Okay, in order to stay in the Euro, they have to make cuts in public spending, and reduce their debt (i.e. austerity measures).  Now here's what throws me off.  The party that's leading the polls is the SYRIZA party, who is against the austerity measures, but also wants to stay in the euro.  Their answer is to add 120,000 public sector jobs, and reverse the pension cuts that have been made. 

Does the logic compute to anyone else, cuz it's the same as dividing by zero to me.  DOES NOT COMPUTE.   

[justonian]

There once was this big ol buck
He saw this doe he'd like to ___

^^^^^ limit of my poetry.

[Dr PennyStock]

Damn, I need a beer, this market is killing me.

Barman, one Bitburger, please, or two.

[justonian]

Damn, I need a beer, this market is killing me.

Barman, one Bitburger, please, or two.

I'm gonna do my part, and eat a greek salad.

[Dr PennyStock]

Damn, I need a beer, this market is killing me.

Barman, one Bitburger, please, or two.

I'm gonna do my part, and eat a greek salad.

No, do not touch it, it has poison

No serious, first the crisis caused by the American's financial toxic products, now the Euro crisis, and, Spain is the next one, we are Fonged

[justonian]

Damn, I need a beer, this market is killing me.

Barman, one Bitburger, please, or two.

I'm gonna do my part, and eat a greek salad.

No, do not touch it, it has poison

No serious, first the crisis caused by the American's financial toxic products, now the Euro crisis, and, Spain is the next one, we are Fonged

Totally Fonged haha

[catfish369]

I am 75 years old & love to fish
I was sitting on a dock the other day,
when I heard a voice say "Pick me up"
I looked around & couldn't see anyone
I thought I was dreaming when
I heard the voice say again "Pick me up"
I looked in the water & there
floating on the top, was a frog
I said "Are you talking to me?"
The frog said, "Yes I'm talking to you.
Pick me up then, kiss me &
I'll turn into the most beautiful woman
you have ever seen."
I'll make sure that all of your friends
are jealous & envious because I will be your
mistress
I looked at the frog for a short time,
reached over, picked it up carefully,
& placed it in my front pocket.
The frog said to me, "What are you nuts?
Didn't you hear what I said?
I said kiss me & I will be your beautiful mistress
At that moment I opened my pocket, looked at the
frog & said
"Nah, at my age I'd rather have a talking frog."
With age comes wisdom!!!

[cyburfer]

  A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, “Ribbit 9 Iron.'  The man looks around and doesn’t see anyone but a frog.  Again, he hears, “Ribbit 9 Iron.” He looks at the frog and decides to prove the frog wrong, puts the club away, and grabs a 9 iron.  Boom! He hits it 10 inches from the cup. He is shocked. He says to the frog “Wow that's amazing.. You must be a lucky frog, eh?” The man decides to take the frog with him to the next hole.  “What do you think frog?” the man asks.  “Ribbit 3 wood.”  The guy takes out a 3 wood and, Boom! Hole in one... The man is befuddled and doesn't know what to say. By the end of the day, the man golfed the best game of golf in his life and asks the frog,  “OK where to next?” The frog replies,  “Ribbit Las Vegas ..” 
   They go to Las Vegas and the guy says,  “OK frog, now what?” The frog says, “Ribbit Roulette.” Upon approaching the roulette table the man asks,  “What do you think I should bet?” The frog replies, “Ribbit $3000, Black 6.”   Now, odds on this were extreme, but after the golf game the man figures what the heck. Boom! Tons of cash comes sliding back across the table the man takes his winnings and buys the best room in the hotel. He sits the frog down and says, “Frog, I don't know how to repay you.  You've won me all this money and I am forever grateful.” The frog replies, “Ribbit Kiss Me.” He figures why not, since after all the frog did for him he deserves it. With a kiss, the frog turns into a gorgeous 17 year-old girl. 
   “And that Your Honor is how the girl ended up in my room so help me God or my name is not William Jefferson Clinton.”
                                                            Cy...

[cyburfer]

A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.

After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, 'Say Father, what causes arthritis?'

The priest replies, 'My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath.'

The drunk muttered in response, 'Well, I'll be darned,' then returned to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. 'I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?'

The drunk answered, 'I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does.'       Cy...

[cyburfer]

A young cowboy sitting in a saloon one Saturday night recognized an elderly man standing at the bar who, in his day, had been the fastest gun in the West. The cowboy took a place next to the old-timer, bought him a drink and told him of his great ambition to be a great shot...

‘Could you give me some tips?' he asked.

The old man said, 'Well, for one thing, you're wearing your gun too high - tie the holster a little lower down on your leg.'

'Will that make me a better gunfighter?'

'Sure will '

The young man did as he was told, stood up, whipped out his .44 and shot the bow tie off the piano player. 'That's terrific!' said the cowboy. 'Got any more tips?'

'Yep,' said the old man. 'Cut a notch out of your holster where the hammer hits it - that’ll give you a smoother draw'

'Will that make me a better gunfighter?' asked the young man.

'You bet it will,' said the old-timer.

The young man took out his knife, cut the notch, stood up, drew his gun in a blur, and then shot a cufflink off the piano player. 'Wow!' exclaimed the cowboy 'I'm learnin' somethin' here. Got any more tips?'

The old man pointed to a large can in a corner of the saloon. 'See that axle grease over there? Coat your gun with it.'

The young man smeared some of the grease on the barrel of his gun.

'No,' said the old-timer, 'I mean smear it all over the gun, handle and all.'

'Will that make me a better gunfighter?' asked the young man.

'No,' said the old-timer, 'but when Wyatt Earp gets done playing the piano, he's gonna shove that gun up your ass, and it won't hurt as much.
                                     Cy...

[Smitty]

It’s a day to remember the soldiers whose crimson blood changed the color of the tide at Omaha Beach, the airmen whose final moments were in a burning plane over Nazi-occupied France, the sailors who are still entombed by a saltwater grave in a harbor called Pearl, and the Marines who never made it home from islands named Guadalcanal, Iwo Jima, Peleliu, and Tarawa. It’s when we resolve to never forget the spelling of places like Khe Sahn, Chosin, Fallujah, and Kandahar. Today is not just the beginning of summer. It’s not Independence Day, Flag Day, Armed Forces Day, or even Veterans’ Day. Today is more sacred….because it’s not about the living.
We should never forget those whose last breath included a realization that they would never again go camping with their families, hunt deer in a river bottom, or remove their hat at a rodeo. Today, imagine what it was like to know that you are about to die in another country, thousands of miles from your home and family. This is Memorial Day…..and we should never forget.