With Smitty in mind
Two wee Irishmen went to the convent, and the soberest asked the nun, "Have you know a wee little nun about 3 feet tall working in the convent?"
The nun answered, "Nigh"
"Have you now maybe a wee little nun about 3 feet tall working somewhere in the county?"
She paused and answered, "I can ask Mother Superior to make some inquiries, can ye be back on the morrow?"
"Aye," he answered.
The next day he went back to the convent and found Mother Superior. "Mother, have ye know a wee little nun about three feet tall working in the county?"
She looked up from her work and stated, " I have made several inquiries and the answer is nigh."
Upon which he turned to his companion, "O'Reilly, you drunken shite, I told you, you were shaggin' a penquin"