Official PENNYSTOCK Martini Bar & Grill

[softballdaddy]

Danke schoen Herr Doktor, und fur Sie

 

Thanks Pal....now if the market could give a little gift, but so far just being as red as a baboon's butt

Happy Birthday SBD, long life, my friend

[softballdaddy]

The Mid-East in turmoil, pirates killing our citizens, Libya and its oil about to explode, DOW down 170 points, Porfolio redder than a baboons butt...days like this I don't know whether to commit suicide or go bowling.

[Smitty]

The Mid-East in turmoil, pirates killing our citizens, Libya and its oil about to explode, DOW down 170 points, Porfolio redder than a baboons butt...days like this I don't know whether to commit suicide or go bowling.

If you can afford to go around the world on your yacht, you should be able to afford a tv to watch the news occasionally. If you take your yacht sightseeing off the Somalia coast, you should not be surprised that you get kidnapped and killed.

[softballdaddy]

Note to self...when giving out free bibles to Muslims, skip the ones with the AK-47's

The Mid-East in turmoil, pirates killing our citizens, Libya and its oil about to explode, DOW down 170 points, Porfolio redder than a baboons butt...days like this I don't know whether to commit suicide or go bowling.

If you can afford to go around the world on your yacht, you should be able to afford a tv to watch the news occasionally. If you take your yacht sightseeing off the Somalia coast, you should not be surprised that you get kidnapped and killed.

[Vegas]

The Mid-East in turmoil, pirates killing our citizens, Libya and its oil about to explode, DOW down 170 points, Porfolio redder than a baboons butt...days like this I don't know whether to commit suicide or go bowling.

""ORDER OUT OF CHAOS""

The New World Order... Coming to your neighborhood very soon... But that's OK, the antichrist will have a solution to it all... The new age of Satan is upon us...

[softballdaddy]

A cowboy walked into a bar, sat down and asked for a shot, across was a Mexican man sitting there glaring at the cowboy.
The cowboy took the shot and slammed the shot glass down on the counter and yelled, 'TGIF'
The Mexican ordered a shot, took it and slammed his glass down and yelled 'SPIT'
The cowboy looked over at him and noticed the mexican was still staring at him!
The cowboy once again ordered another shot, slammed it down n yelled again 'TGIF'
And once again the mexican ordered another shot, slammed it down after consuming it and yelled out, 'SPIT'
This went on for awhile, finally annoyed by it, the bartender asked the cowboy, do u know wat TGIF means?? & the cowboy replied Hell ya, 'Thank God Its Friday!'
& then the bartender went up to the Mexican man and said ok so Wat does SPIT mean? & the mexican replied..
'Stupid Pendejo Its Thursday'

[Dr PennyStock]

LOL, very funny

[softballdaddy]

Just released...Osamas last SMS message

"BRB, someone is at the door"

[softballdaddy]

Getting older, thought I would try golf...may need lessons...only hit 2 balls hard and that was when I stepped on a rake.

[NeHuskerz]

Dear President Obama,

I am writing today with a fair request.  I ask that you return America to its August 20th, 1959 borders so that Hawaii is no longer a state and you are no longer a citizen.

Thank you,
 
Benjamin "Bibi" Netanyahu

[softballdaddy]

Stole this joke...as I steal most of my humor

Stock Market Humor: New Stock Market Terms

~CEO -- Chief Embezzlement Officer.
~CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.
~BULL MARKET-- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
~BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
~VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.
~P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
~BROKER -- What my broker has made me.
~STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.
~STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
~STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
~MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.
~CASH FLOW -- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
~INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
~PROFIT -- an archaic word no longer in use.

[jotuk6771]

Stole this joke...as I steal most of my humor

Stock Market Humor: New Stock Market Terms

~CEO -- Chief Embezzlement Officer.
~CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.
~BULL MARKET-- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
~BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
~VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.
~P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
~BROKER -- What my broker has made me.
~STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.
~STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
~STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
~MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.
~CASH FLOW -- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
~INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
~PROFIT -- an archaic word no longer in use.

ROTFLOL 

[Dr PennyStock]

Stole this joke...as I steal most of my humor

Stock Market Humor: New Stock Market Terms

~CEO -- Chief Embezzlement Officer.
~CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.
~BULL MARKET-- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
~BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
~VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.
~P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
~BROKER -- What my broker has made me.
~STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.
~STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
~STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
~MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.
~CASH FLOW -- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
~INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
~PROFIT -- an archaic word no longer in use.

Funny

[softballdaddy]

I enjoy politics...it is fun...we  have a congressman from New York, who has confessed that he exposed him self on Twitter numerous times...all of this and the name Weiner.... you just can't  make this up....

For our non USA friends...In America, Weiner is not a person from Vienna, but a small wurst made for a hot dog bun...

All of this while I hold some channel surfing slow boaters...need a good diversion every once in awhile...Smitty doesn't always post, so we need humor where we can find it...

Hey Smitty....how we doing?

[Smitty]

Hanging in here, waiting for my run, or jog, I'd actually settle for a brisk walk at this point.... .....Gonna be on the road all week, so I won't be on too much. Put sell prices on everything, maybe when I get back I won't own anything, just a fat cash balance so I can start all over...