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Author Topic: Silver Tongued Devils..  (Read 16078 times)
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cyburfer
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Wish & a Prayer


« on: April 03, 2012, 09:32:53 PM »

Everybody knows some.. just a play on words. Kind of like the old    "Girl who flys plane upsidedown has ..... up"
(Pm me if you didn't get that one) Huh..    Ok, i'll toss a couple out there for a start..   Tongue   Cy...

When fish are in schools they sometimes . . . take debate.

You are stuck with your debt if . . . you can't budge it.

A will is a . . . dead giveaway.

(I didn't say they had to be funny)  Undecided   Cy...
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bluebird
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« Reply #1 on: April 03, 2012, 11:49:14 PM »

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite

How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on it!

How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way, unique up on it!

A jury is never satisfied with the verdict. The jury always returns it.

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I hope that my achievements in life shall be these - that I will have fought for what was right and fair, that I will have risked for that which mattered, and that I will have given help to those who were in need, that I will have left the earth a better place for what I've done and who I've been.
cyburfer
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Wish & a Prayer


« Reply #2 on: April 04, 2012, 06:01:16 AM »

Spot on Bluebird  Grin 

If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.

A lot of money is tainted: t'aint yours, and t'aint mine.                  (But we keep trying : )   Cy...

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cyburfer
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Wish & a Prayer


« Reply #3 on: April 05, 2012, 01:01:58 AM »

The market may be bad, but I slept like a baby last night. I woke up every hour and cried.    Cry

A long term investment is a short term investment that failed.

My broker and I are working on a retirement plan. Unfortunately, it's his..   

It was so cold today I saw a stockbroker with his hands in his own pockets.

Stockbroker's creed: A man is a client until proven broke.

A market analyst is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today!

Q: Why did God create stock analysts ?
A: In order to make weather forecasters look good.         

Broker: A man on the right end of a telephone.              Embarrassed        Cy...
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cyburfer
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Wish & a Prayer


« Reply #4 on: April 14, 2012, 12:30:50 PM »

Why doesn't a chicken wear pants?
Because his pecker is on his head!

What do you call a gay dinosaur?
Mega-saur-ass

Whats the difference between a wife and a girlfriend ?
3 Stone !

How to you make a dish washer into a snow blower?
Give the b**ch a shovel

The fight we had last night was my fault,
my wife asked me what was on the TV and i said dust.    Cry    Cy...

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cyburfer
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Wish & a Prayer


« Reply #5 on: April 14, 2012, 12:42:27 PM »

Anybody ever really Piss you off and your mind was whirling and you didn't have a retort handy???   Lips sealed    Huh

Are your parents siblings?

Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice.

As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?

Better at sex than anyone; now all he needs is a partner.

Calling you stupid would be an insult to stupid people.

Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?

Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?

Do you want people to accept you as you are or do you want them to like you?

Don't you have a terribly empty feeling - in your skull?

Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?

Every person has the right to be ugly, but you abused the privilege!

Go ahead, tell them everything you know. Should take about 10 seconds.

Have you considered suing your brains for non-support?

Living proof that a person can live without a brain!

The kind of person that you would use as a blueprint to build an idiot.

Not stupid; just possessed by a retarded ghost.

Was your cage door open again?

I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

    Cheesy   Cy...
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« Reply #6 on: April 17, 2012, 10:07:29 AM »

Rim shots all around. Too early in the morning for me to have any adds, but thanks for the smiles.
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cyburfer
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Wish & a Prayer


« Reply #7 on: April 17, 2012, 10:15:13 AM »

Thanks for the Shot..  Cheesy   Yeah , that last batch goes better after you've had a couple cups of Java and are ready to duck..    Shocked    Cy...
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cyburfer
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Wish & a Prayer


« Reply #8 on: April 21, 2012, 03:06:45 AM »

Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes

Why is air a lot like sex?
It's no big deal unless you're not getting any

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts

What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag

What's the biggest crime committed by transvestites?
Male fraud

What is the one thing that unites all Americans, regardless of gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background?
Deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers

Light travels faster than sound
This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak

What's the new and politically correct name for Lesbian?
Vagitarian         Roll Eyes       Cy...
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cyburfer
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Wish & a Prayer


« Reply #9 on: April 25, 2012, 11:36:58 PM »

     I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots.  Apparently, you can't go alone.  You have to be in Cahoots with someone. I've also never been in Cognito.  I hear no one recognizes you there.  I have, however, been in Sane.  They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there.  I have made several trips there, thanks to my friends, family and work.  I live close so it's a short drive. I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore.  I have also been in Doubt.  That is a sad place to go and I try not to visit there too often. I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.  Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older.  One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense!  It really gets the adrenaline flowing and pumps up the old heart!  At my age I need all the stimuli I can get! And, sometimes I think I am in Vincible but life shows me I am not.  People keep telling me I'm in Denial but I'm positive I've never been there before!  I have been in Deepshit many times; the older I get, the easier it is to get there.  I actually kind of enjoy it there. So far, I haven't been in Continent, but my travel agent says I'll be going soon.
                                    Tongue   Cy...

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bluebird
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« Reply #10 on: April 26, 2012, 09:38:16 AM »

     I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots.  Apparently, you can't go alone.  You have to be in Cahoots with someone. I've also never been in Cognito.  I hear no one recognizes you there.  I have, however, been in Sane.  They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there.  I have made several trips there, thanks to my friends, family and work.  I live close so it's a short drive. I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore.  I have also been in Doubt.  That is a sad place to go and I try not to visit there too often. I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.  Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older.  One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense!  It really gets the adrenaline flowing and pumps up the old heart!  At my age I need all the stimuli I can get! And, sometimes I think I am in Vincible but life shows me I am not.  People keep telling me I'm in Denial but I'm positive I've never been there before!  I have been in Deepshit many times; the older I get, the easier it is to get there.  I actually kind of enjoy it there. So far, I haven't been in Continent, but my travel agent says I'll be going soon.
                                    Tongue   Cy...



LOL - Thanks so much Cy.  Love your light hearted and fun postings.  Thanks.  Cheesy Smiley Cheesy
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I hope that my achievements in life shall be these - that I will have fought for what was right and fair, that I will have risked for that which mattered, and that I will have given help to those who were in need, that I will have left the earth a better place for what I've done and who I've been.
Stretcher75
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Have an entry / exit strategy and you will be fine


« Reply #11 on: April 26, 2012, 12:35:30 PM »

Site broke the most users online at on time today Smiley
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cyburfer
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Wish & a Prayer


« Reply #12 on: April 29, 2012, 08:42:19 AM »

A tough looking group of bikers was riding when they saw a woman about to jump off a bridge, so they stopped.
The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?"
    "I'm going to commit suicide," she says.
While he didn't want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an opportunity either, so he asked...
    "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?" So she does... And it was a long, deep, lingering kiss.
After she's finished, the biker says,  "Wow! That was the best kiss I've ever had! That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous. Why in the world would you want to commit suicide?"
    "My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl........".

                    The authorities think she may have been pushed.    Kiss    Cy...
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cyburfer
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Wish & a Prayer


« Reply #13 on: April 29, 2012, 10:17:09 AM »

                      Italian Silver Tongues  Tongue

A bus stops and 2 Italian men get on.
They sit down and engage in an animated conversation.

The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first,
But her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following:

Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more! ..
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time.'

The lady can't take this anymore,
"You foul- mouthed sex obsessed pig!"
She retorted indignantly.

'In this country, we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives!"

'Hey, coola down lady,' said the man, 'Whooza talkin' about sex?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell ' Mississippi '..                  Cheesy    Cy...
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goN4it
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this is Lucky, now bring me luck


« Reply #14 on: April 30, 2012, 08:49:46 PM »

LOL Em Eye crooked-letter crooked-letter, Eye crooked-letter crooked-letter, Eye humpback humpback eye!
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