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Author Topic: Official PENNYSTOCK Martini Bar & Grill  (Read 127761 times)
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softballdaddy
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« Reply #930 on: September 13, 2012, 06:43:19 PM »

No one wants to take your guns, cy. That's a mythical talking point without anything to back it up. Although, after the Aurora, CO incident, there is renewed talk about reasonable limits on the kinds of weapons protected by the Bill of Rights.

Lean up close to your monitor, and let an old man slap the shit out of you.... Grin...it starts that way, then the next one is easier, and so on....till you have nothing....historically, it would be the beginning of the end...

Smitty, when I was a kid anyone that wished could have bought a 20MM antitank rifle for 89.95 and for another 89.95 one could buy 100 20MM cannon rounds, as advertised in my Outdoor Life.. All by mail. We can no longer do that, and don't think that was a bad thing.
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cyburfer
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« Reply #931 on: September 13, 2012, 07:36:45 PM »

You won't catch the Government shorting itself of keeping their "Guns" loaded and at ready.. even to the tune of another $100 million bailout..
USU stands to gain from it and perhaps quickly...
Quote
The company's stock price dipped below $1 in April, prompting the New York Stock Exchange to threaten delisting its shares. But its inclusion in the spending bill was a signal that it retains support from Democrats and Republicans who want to develop a U.S.-based technology they say is crucial to maintaining the nation's nuclear weapons stockpile.

http://custom.fmg.dowjones.com/custom/tdameritrade-com/html-story.asp?guid={5bea46ac-4453-4c6f-8241-b458257785cc}
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Smitty
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Age is important only if you're cheese or wine.


« Reply #932 on: October 15, 2012, 11:52:45 AM »

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 Beers.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
...
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full.. The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand.The students laughed..

'Now,' said the professor as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things---your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions---and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.. The sand is everything else---the small stuff.

'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.

Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and mow the lawn.

Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented. The professor smiled and said, 'I'm glad you asked.' The Beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of Beers with a friend.

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If you make up your mind to fight, fight like you're the third monkey on the ramp to Noah's Ark, or just wait for the rain.
Because the rain is coming.
wildduece2
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« Reply #933 on: October 15, 2012, 12:02:53 PM »

Sure wish I had read this when i was 25 (young, dumb, and stupid), paid attention to those wise words, and not had to figure all of it out the hard way.
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« Reply #934 on: October 15, 2012, 12:29:25 PM »

Great one Smitty.. I do remember that one and am now inspired to get a Beer out of the fridge   Cool   Cy...
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Dr PennyStock
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« Reply #935 on: October 19, 2012, 01:35:53 PM »

Great one Smitty, wise words.
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Dr PennyStock
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« Reply #936 on: October 24, 2012, 09:15:49 AM »

Moose hunting

Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success. Finally, they came up with a foolproof plan. They got a very authentic female moose costume and learned the mating call of a female moose. The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the bull, then come out of the costume and shoot the bull. They set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, donned their costume and began to give the moose love call. Before long, their call was answered as a bull came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing. When the bull was close enough, the guy in front said, "Okay, let's get out and get him." After a moment that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back shouted, "The zipper is stuck! What are we going to do?" The guy in the front says, "Well, I'm going to start nibbling grass, but you'd better brace yourself."
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If you make up your mind to fight, fight like you're the third monkey on the ramp to Noah's Ark, or just wait for the rain.
Because the rain is coming.
Smitty
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Age is important only if you're cheese or wine.


« Reply #937 on: October 24, 2012, 09:35:01 AM »

Subject:  I LOVE THIS DOCTOR.  MY KIND OF GUY!!!!!


Q: Doctor,  I've heard that  cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your  heart is only good for so many  beats, and that's it...  don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out  eventually.  Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend  the life of your car by driving it faster.  Want to live longer?  Take a  nap. 

Q: Should  I cut  down on meat and  eat more fruits and  vegetables?
A: You  must grasp  logistical efficiencies.  What does a cow eat?   Hay and corn.   And what are these?  Vegetables.  So a steak  is nothing more  than an efficient mechanism of  delivering vegetables to your  system.   Need grain?   Eat  chicken.   Beef is also a good source  of field grass  (green leafy vegetable).   And a pork chop can  give you  100% of your recommended daily allowance of  vegetable  products.

Q: Should  I reduce my  alcohol intake? 
A:  No,  not at all.  Wine is made from  fruit.  Brandy is  distilled wine,  that means they take the water out of  the fruity bit so you  get even more of the goodness that  way.   Beer is also made out  of grain.  Bottoms   up!

Q: How  can I calculate my body/fat   ratio?
A: Well,  if you have a body and you have  fat, your ratio is one  to one.  If you have two bodies, your  ratio is two to  one, etc.

Q: What  are some of  the advantages of participating in a regular  exercise  program?
A: Can't  think of a single one, sorry.  My  philosophy is: No  Pain...Good!
Q:  Aren't  fried  foods bad for you?
A:  YOU'RE  NOT  LISTENING!!! .....  Foods are fried these days in  vegetable oil.  In fact,  they're permeated in it.  How could  getting more  vegetables be bad for  you? 

Q:  Will  sit-ups  help prevent me from getting a little soft  around  the middle?
A: Definitely  not! When  you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You  should only be  doing sit-ups if you want a bigger   stomach. 

Q:  Is   chocolate bad for me? 
A:  Are   you crazy? HELLO   Cocoa  beans ! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good   food around!

Q:  Is   swimming good for your figure? 
A:  If   swimming is good for  your figure,   explain whales to  me.

Q:  Is getting   in-shape important for my   lifestyle? 
A:  Hey!  'Round' is  a shape! 

Well,   I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may   have had about  food   and diets.

And  remember:
'Life should  NOT  be a journey to the grave with the intention of  arriving  safely in an attractive and well preserved  body, but rather  to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one  hand - chocolate in  the other - body thoroughly used up,  totally worn out and   screaming 'WOO  HOO, What a  Ride'
   
AND.....

For  those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final  word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the  truth after all those conflicting nutritional  studies. 

1. The Japanese eat  very little fat
and suffer  fewer heart attacks than  Americans.

2. The Mexicans  eat a lot of  fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than  Americans.

3. The Chinese  drink very little  red wine
and  suffer fewer heart attacks than  Americans.

4. The  Italians drink a lot of red  wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than  Americans. 

5. The Germans  drink a lot of beers and eat lots of  sausages and fats  and suffer fewer heart attacks than   Americans.

CONCLUSION

Eat  and drink what you like.
Speaking  English is apparently what kills  you.
 
 
 
 
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If you make up your mind to fight, fight like you're the third monkey on the ramp to Noah's Ark, or just wait for the rain.
Because the rain is coming.
NeHuskerz
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« Reply #938 on: October 16, 2013, 10:29:25 AM »

Best Craigslist ad ever...

http://enid.craigslist.org/cto/4119280944.html%3C/div%3E
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Smitty
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Age is important only if you're cheese or wine.


« Reply #939 on: October 17, 2013, 04:32:30 PM »

 

A judge was interviewing a lady regarding her pending divorce, and asked, “What are the grounds for your divorce?”

She replied, “About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by.”

“No,” he said, “I mean what is the foundation of this case?”

“It is made of concrete, brick and mortar,” she responded.

“I mean,” he continued, “What are your relations like?”

“I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband’s parents.”

He said, “Do you have a real grudge?”

“No,” she replied, “We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one.”

“Please,” he tried again, “is there any infidelity in your marriage?”

“Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don’t necessarily like the music, but the answer to your question is ‘yes’.”

“Ma’am, does your husband ever beat you up?”

“Yes,” she responded, “about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do.”

Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, “Lady, why do you want a divorce?”

“Oh, I don’t want a divorce,” she replied. “I’ve never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can’t communicate with me.”

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If you make up your mind to fight, fight like you're the third monkey on the ramp to Noah's Ark, or just wait for the rain.
Because the rain is coming.
Mr. Halsey
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« Reply #940 on: October 22, 2013, 12:08:46 PM »

Pour me a stiff one bar keep.
$SSN is giving me grief.
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justonian
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« Reply #941 on: November 06, 2013, 01:59:54 PM »

Just wanted to stop in at the bar and say hi.  Haven't been on in ages, sold out of all of my positions, and got a place near the beach here in NC.  Cheers!

On a stock related topic, just enrolled in 401k with my employer (benefit matching starts for me first of the year 2014).  Been way out of the loop, but the market seems super high.  Think it's smart just to have it go to cash (in my case 100% MARKET TREASURY FUND) until it corrects?
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justonian
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« Reply #942 on: November 06, 2013, 02:43:51 PM »

Smitty still got the jokes running.  I got a short 1 for ya.

Neil Patrick Harris isn't gay.  He just ran out of women. 
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Smitty
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« Reply #943 on: November 06, 2013, 03:56:44 PM »

Waaaaaaay too damn funny not ot share again!!!!!!!  Grin Cheesy Cheesy Grin

Notes From An Inexperienced Chili Taster Named FRANK, who was visiting
Texas from the East Coast:
 
Recently I was honored to be selected as an outstanding Famous celebrity in
Texas, to be a judge at a chili cook-off, because no one else wanted to do
it. Also the original person called in sick at the last moment, and happened
to be standing there at the judge's table asking directions to the beer
wagon when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges (Native
Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy, and besides they told me
I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted.
 
Here are the scorecards from the event:
 
Chili # 1: Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chili
JUDGE ONE: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.
JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
FRANK: Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint
from your driveway with it. Took me two beers to put the flames out. Hope
that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.
 
Chili # 2: Arthur's Afterburner Chili
JUDGE ONE: Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang.
JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
FRANK: Keep this out of reach of children! I'm not sure what I am supposed
to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me
the Heimlich maneuver. They had to walkie-talkie in 3 extra beers when they
saw the look on my face.
 
Chili # 3: Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili
JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans.
JUDGE TWO: A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of red peppers.
FRANK: Call the EPA, I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I
have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Barmaid
pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the Front part of my chest.
I'm getting shit-faced.
 
Chili # 4: Bubba's Black Magic
JUDGE ONE: Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
JUDGE TWO: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other
mild foods, not much of a chili.
FRANK: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste
it. Sally, the bar maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills;
that 300lb. bitch is starting to look HOT, just like this nuclear-waste I'm
eating.
 
Chili # 5: Linda's Legal Lip Remover
JUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding
considerable kick. Very impressive.
JUDGE TWO: Chili using shredded beef; could use more tomato. Must admit
the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
FRANK: My ears are ringing, and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and
four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when
I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue
from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from a pitcher. It really
pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Fuck those
rednecks!
 
Chili # 6: Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety
JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spice
and peppers.
JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic.
Superb.
FRANK: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric
flames. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that slut Sally. I
need to wipe my ass with a snow cone!
 
Chili # 7: Susan's Screaming Sensation Chili
JUDGE ONE: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
JUDGE TWO: Ho Hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili
peppers at the last moment. I should note that I am worried about Judge
Number 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing
uncontrollably.
FRANK: You could put a fucking grenade in my mouth, pull the fucking pin,
and I wouldn't feel a damn thing. I've lost the sight in one eye, and the
world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with
chili which slid unnoticed out of my fucking mouth. My pants are full of
lava-like shit to match my goddamn shirt. At least during the autopsy
they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too
painful. Fuck it, I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll
just suck it in through the fucking 4-inch hole in my stomach.
 
Chili # 8: Helen's Mount Saint Chili
JUDGE ONE: A perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili, safe for all, not
too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
JUDGE TWO: This final entry is a good, balanced chili, neither mild nor hot.
Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge Number 3 passed out, fell
and pulled the chili pot on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make
it. Poor Yank.
FRANK: --------------(editor's note: Judge #3 was unable to report)
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If you make up your mind to fight, fight like you're the third monkey on the ramp to Noah's Ark, or just wait for the rain.
Because the rain is coming.
Dr PennyStock
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« Reply #944 on: November 07, 2013, 11:27:19 AM »

Grin Grin Grin
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